Sweet 16. It was a Wednesday. Despite it being a big day, my stomach felt sick the entire day.
I watched the hours crawl by as the pit in my stomach got bigger and bigger.
One thing had become obvious, I was not a runner. And today was preseason conditioning. On the agenda was a jog from the high school to the elementary and back. Both the boys team and girls. An added insult to injury was that my super jock boyfriend would witness my embarrassment that I just couldn't hang. I was suppose to be something. All the coaches had high hopes for my 'potential'. But my lack of ability to push myself during conditioning was unfavorable. As a freshman, I saw some varsity time--so I had something to prove. That I belonged.
Within a half mile in, I was walking. I remember the sick feeling of seeing my team run towards me as they made their way back, as I walked. I wasn't alone. A senior, who I had befriended stuck by my side and encouraged me the entire way (she later went on to run a marathon post high school) . I eventually returned.....defeated.
I have been way past that. Hell I have ran a half marathon. But today I felt like I had something to prove to myself. So I returned.
I parked my car along the route (elementaru school) and just started running. Ran to our city park (a bit outside my 2004 route) ran around the park, back to the route, to the high school...around the outer track three times, around the parking lot and back.
Total it was about 3 times the run I couldn't run back then--- in 90 degree heat.
My biggest competition is the voice in my head that tells me i am not good enough. And today, I silenced that bitch. Atleast for the meantime.
